How to write a romance novel

craft of writing / / writing prompts, writing tips

There are many reasons to write and read romance novels, but one thing is for sure: this genre isn’t going anywhere.

If becoming a romance writer is on your to do list, you’ve come to the right place! You’re going to learn how to make your readers swoon and how not to turn your story into a clichéd flop, and probably a lot of other things, too. If you came here for romantic writing prompts, they’re at the bottom of the post.

The best romance writer bundles from my shop: Romance novel bundle – Romantasy writing bundle – 320 Romantic Writing Prompts – 160 Smutty Writing Prompts

What is “romance” anyway?

Any type of novel can have a romance arc but those stories are not necessarily ABOUT that romantic relationship. You see, even though a romance novel has two layers (more on that later), the romance needs to be at the centre stage. It has its own place in the structure.

For something to count as romance, the story also needs an emotionally satisfying ending. I’m not going to say a “happy” ending, because not everything in the story needs to end up in rainbows and unicorns, but the two lovers do need to end up together. Modern readers don’t necessarily expect a promise of a “happily ever after”, but they do expect a “happy for now“.

You definitely can explore deeper themes and more difficult subjects in romance novels these days, but remember that cheating or violence between the two lovers makes the story not-romance. Yes, “dark romance” exists, but that’s a very different thing for a different audience.

There’s a big difference between “what makes a novel a romance novel” and “what’s become normal but isn’t actually essential” and this post is going to give you a lot of options for doing things differently while still staying in the genre. Here’s literally everything you need:

  • Two people who fall in love and eventually end up together
  • An internal journey for those two lovers – because there are mental obstacles and misconceptions they need to overcome before they can be together
  • An external journey with external goals and obstacles

Explore the different romance subgenres

As any major genre, romance also has many different subgenres. You could go for fantasy romance (or “romantasy”), historical romance, regency romance, Christian romance… The options might not be endless but the options are out there anyway. Try them out.

There are always trends in what people read, so before you choose your subgenre, you might want to look at what’s still popular. Not because you should follow trends instead of your own heart but because you probably want readers, too. For example, I did just mention regency romance, but its popularity has been on the decline for a long time and you might want to consider writing some other kind of historical romance novel instead.

And hey, maybe there’s a genre-bending romance novel that you’ve never seen before that you’d love to write yourself. Don’t be afraid to surprise your readers while also giving them what they want.

Do you need to have sex scenes in a romance novel? What about kissing scenes?

The beauty of different subgenres is that you can accommodate different types of readers. Hooray!

I hate the term “clean romance” because there’s nothing dirty about sex – it’s a natural part of life. That said, people need to have easy terminology for the things they want to write and read, so I’m not going to suggest we call it “sexless fiction” either or something else as silly. But yes, it does exist, and if you want, you can also write a romance novel without sex scenes and even without kissing.

Me, I prefer to read about sex when I grab a romance novel. I don’t need super graphic descriptions or anything, but if the bedroom scenes happen behind closed doors and I’m left on the other side, I won’t LOVE the book. But my preferences only determine what *I* read and write – you’re free to do your own choices. You don’t even need to explain them to anyone.

How to plot a romance novel

Remember those two layers I mentioned earlier? We can call them inner layer and outer layer, or perhaps emotional layer and action layer. What that means is that there’s the “relationship stuff” – including what actually happens between the two lovers but also what they’re going through emotionally inside their heads – and then there’s the other stuff that happens that’s unrelated to the relationship.

Essentially, the emotional layer always goes the same way. There’s push and pull between the two lovers and they can’t end up together for real until they’ve dealt with their personal issues. That’s what makes it a romance novel. To quote myself from a different post, the inner layer goes something like this:

Oh wow I’ve just met this amazing person (OR I’m just seeing this person I already know in a new light) but we can’t be together “because reasons”. We get closer anyway and hey could this work after all? No, actually, I’m letting my flaws and misconceptions get the better of me and we pull away from each other. Oh but it’s too painful to be apart so I’m doing something big to fix things. And then we live happily ever after (or at least happily for now).

Then there’s the external stuff that can be almost anything and it’s what sets your novel apart. Are the characters in competing basketball teams? Is she struggling with a family business while he works in finance? Is one character a midwife and the other a doctor who’s gone practically catatonic with grief? Here, the options actually are endless.

And yes, these layers can definitely intertwine and some of the time they probably should. Still, you should be able to plot a full journey for both layers, just like every character needs their own arc, even if it all comes together in the final product.

How your characters meet

I’m giving this its own section because it’s really important. You want your characters’ first meeting be memorable. Many people talk about the “meet cute” but I don’t personally gravitate towards cute when I’m writing or reading romance and you might not either.

The way the characters meet (or if they already know each other, how they suddenly become romantically involved/interested) needs to be extremely relevant to the specific story you’re writing. In I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella, the protagonist (nicknamed Fixie for a very good reason) tries to fix a complete stranger’s problem and so he ends up owing her a favour. It wasn’t just some random meeting with no meaning to the story.

If you were writing a romance novel about boxing, for example, it would make sense for your characters to meet in or near a boxing ring. Unless, of course, your protagonist has anger issues and she actually ends up meeting her love interest at an anger managemet class or while doing community service after punching someone who didn’t behave properly at Starbucks. A completely unrelated meeting at the supermarket, though? Might not suit your story. Make it count.

Structuring your romance novel

Let’s get into how to put the events of your story on a timeline. The external layer of your romance novel follows a regular story structure but the romance layer needs a little more nuance and details. (I still really, really want you to read about story structure in general, though, because it gives you a greater understanding of stories.)

There are three important points in a romance arc:

  • The two characters meet for the first time (or become romantically involved/interested for the first time if they already know each other) but they’re not yet ready to be together
  • In the middle of the story, there’s some kind of a turning point in their relationship where it looks like things might work out after all, except they need to chicken out after that because they’re not Truly Ready yet
  • They’ve finally dealt with their personal issues and they’re ready to choose love instead of fear and take a risk even if it doesn’t pay off (except we know it will)

Whether your characters get intimate at some point doesn’t change any of that – you can sleep with someone even if you’re not ready to really be with them. The way that your characters get closer together and then push each other away can manifest in different ways.

When you look at story structure and those three points I just mentioned, the first point happens when The Big Problem Arrives and the third point happens when your characters learn to solve things the right way. These high points in your external and internal layers can happen at the same time or one after the other.

One more thing: If you were to fold your story in half from the midpoint, the first and the third points would meet. They could practically kiss. That’s going to help you balance your story so that it doesn’t get too slow or rushed at any point, and you won’t end up lingering when you already should have closed the book.

Don’t be quick and easy

Just like your characters shouldn’t solve their external problems too easily in any novel, your lovers shouldn’t end up together too quickly. It’s a whole process and you can’t have your characters be too self-aware of what’s actually wrong with them – that’s extremely unrealistic. Humans are so dumb.

We’re going to talk more about flaws later, but when you’re plotting your romance novel, you need to understand that you can’t give your characters’ their happily ever after before they’ve dealt with their flaws and ongoing problems (as in the problems they had even before the Big Problem rolled up and changed everything).

This doesn’t mean they should change completely, and actually, maybe they don’t need to change as people at all. What definitely IS necessary, though, is changing their attitude and beliefs about something. You don’t need to make a shy character less shy, they could just learn to accept themselves and learn to trust people who have their back.

There needs to be various ups and downs in your story or else you won’t have enough material for a full novel. Don’t be too soft – make your plot events count.

Why would your characters need to be together?

How many crime shows have you watched where they make a man and a woman work together and suddenly they’re attracted to each other simply because… they’re a man and a woman. Don’t be that writer. Your romance novel needs to be better than that.

Because your characters won’t end up together on page 50 of your 300-page novel, you’ve got time to convince the characters and your readers. Put them in different situations together (your characters, that is, leave your readers alone) and force them to show different aspects of themselves to each other. Show us how they truly belong together despite their silly excuses that they’ll be holding onto almost all the way through.

Although your characters need to be attracted to each other, it can’t be everything there is. Give your characters exactly what the other character needs and make them work for each other’s love and respect. Anything less is kinda disrespectful towards your readers.

If you want more help with creating a couple that your readers will be rooting for, you’ll find what you need in my romance novel workbook.

Plot your story with the Romance Novel Outline Template

There’s a lot I could write about outlining a romance novel but I think it’s best if I just show you my best tool for doing all that.

My romance novel outline template walks you through each step of plotting a romance novel so you never have to be like “okay, they’ve kissed, now what?” You’ll understand all this pushing and pulling business, and best of all, you don’t even need to write all of it in order if you ever get stuck in one part of your story. You can easily navigate your template and find what you need.

And no, before you ask, using this outline template will not make your story formulaic. You choose when your characters kiss or if they even do it at all, you choose what kind of problems your characters have and you choose what kind of choices and sacrifices they make.

You already know your story needs a beginning, a middle and an end. That in itself is already structure, and going into more detail actually gives you more room to be creative because you know where you need to go and you won’t need to be scared of making the wrong turn. When it comes to writing a romance novel that keeps your readers turning the pages, it’s especially important to craft it to keep their interest high.

Anyway, now that you know how to plot your romance novel, let’s move on.

How to write good romance novel characters

People are always more than just one thing and the same applies to your characters. One of the reasons why romance novels are still getting a bad rap is that people have seen too many stories where the woman is Beautiful and nothing more and the man is Handsome and nothing more (unless he’s also Wealthy). If they have personalities, they’re very simple, decent people with no real problems. (Unless the problem is a past trauma that can be magically erased by the perfect sexual encounter.)

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear I also have worksheets for creating your perfect romance novel characters, you can find them here. You can choose between she, he and they pronouns to accommodate for all kinds of pairings.

Give your characters real flaws

All characters need flaws and problems. They can’t be something random that can be solved with a phone call, but something that the characters need to work on over the course of the story in order to solve, overcome or accept. Yes, that means you also need to make the problems and flaws relevant to your specific story, you can’t just pick them from a list.

Since you’re writing a romance novel, those flaws need to be a part of the reason why the characters can’t be together yet. They can’t get their happily ever after until they get over their pride and prejudice. And sometimes it’s not about changing your characters, sometimes they just need to accept themselves, and it typically isn’t obvious to your characters what the real problem is, as we already discussed.

Your characters need goals besides the relationship

You’ve already got this bit if you read the section on plotting your romance novel but I just want to remind you here.

If you’re writing for modern audiences, and I’m guessing you are unless you’re a time traveller, your characters need other substance in their lives besides “I want that person to fall in love with me”. What is it? What else is important to them? What do they want to achieve?

That said, as I’m writing this, I realise there are people whose main goal in life is to get married and then have children. I don’t really know what to say about that but I suppose you can write about those people, too, as long as you’re doing it on purpose and not because you forgot life is about more than just marriage (and I’m saying this as a married person with two children).

Make your characters relatable

Let’s be careful here: people often get relatability wrong. First of all, it’s not about writing a character who’s so unspecific and vague that almost anyone could relate to them, because that would actually make them unrelatable. People want specificity and it doesn’t drive them away.

For example, don’t be afraid to give your character a very specific job instead of just saying they “go to work” or that they “work in an office”. If they have a difficult boss, almost anyone can relate to that even if your character is an undertaker or a taxidermist.

Some writers also seem to think that certain physical characteristics can make a character relatable, especially in the romance genre. Yes, we’re all tired of reading about skinny blondes, right? Nothing wrong with them in the real world, let’s just not default to them in our romance novels. But then, just making your character mid-sized and curvy with frizzy brown hair doesn’t actually make them relatable if they’re still lacking a proper personality.

Anyway, I don’t want you to overthink relatability. When you create full characters with actual real-life problems, your readers will find something relatable there as long as you give your characters enough chances to show what they’re really life. Make them do stuff and not just think. (More on that soon.)

How to describe character appearance in your romance novel

When I tell you that she was beautiful, what do you see? What about when I say that he was hot? Because I was actually thinking of Gillian Anderson in X Files and Chris Harms from Lord of the Lost – were we seeing the same people? Probably not.

Whenever you make value judgments about your characters, you expect your readers to take your word for it. That’s a prime example of telling instead of showing. Instead, use your words to describe things you can actually see, like shiny red hair and a sharp nose. Being able to “see” your character is more important than thinking they’re attractive. How is beauty relevant or interesting in a story anyway?

How you present these facts about your characters’ appearance matters a lot. When you’re describing your POV character, it’s really odd to be like “I have green hair and blue eyes and I’ve always been on the shorter side” because who thinks of themselves like that unless they’re currently writing their dating app profile? Have the details come up organically. Do you casually think about your own hair or is it more likely to come up in your thoughts when you’re braiding your hair or when you see someone whose hair colour and texture you envy?

When you’re describing “the other character” through the eyes of your POV character, you have a lot more leeway especially when they first meet. You can definitely be like “he was so tall his pant legs were a little short on him and his sharp jawline nearly cut me in half” because you’re far more likely to take inventory of a new person’s appearance.

There’s a lot more I could say about character appearance but you probably should just read this other blog post about it.

Give your characters stuff to do

There are two distinct parts to any scene: action and reaction. Action doesn’t here mean explosions and gunshots, it’s just stuff happening. After stuff has happened, the POV character reacts to it internally and externally, with feeling and with thought.

In romance novels, the reaction part is usually emphasized, as a lot of stock is put into characters’ feelings and they also need to think about what it all means. Still, most people don’t want to read about characters doing nothing but sitting and thinking. You also want to think about how their feelings manifest on the outside. Go easy on the internal monologues (more on that later).

Have your characters drop a plate when they’re still embarrassed by how they were caught topless by their crush. Make them jumble up the fitted sheet in frustration when they’re putting away the laundry after a stupid argument. Keep them doing stuff and interacting with their world pretty much all the time. That also helps with the sense of time passing in your story.

How to name your romance novel characters

Naming your romance novel characters works pretty much the same way as any other characters:

  • Choose unforgettable names for your protagonists – just say no to Lisa Johnson or Dave Smith
  • Stay true to your genre and setting

I know that in the past, especially in the more formulaic airport paperback romance novels, writers have favoured kind of silly, on-the-nose names like Cassandra Lovebody or Max Steele, but modern audiences don’t really want stuff like that. After all, your characters don’t know they’re in a romance novel, so give them names that are appropriate in their world.

I’ve written a blog post about choosing the best character names and also one with character name ideas, so check them out for inspiration if you need some.

How to write character feelings in your romance novel

My blog post about character feelings is still in progress but I promise to link it here as soon as it’s ready. In the meantime, here are some quick tips and things to remember.

These are the ways that you can show your characters’ feelings:

  • Action (slamming fists, smiling, screaming, etc)
  • Dialogue (“Why would you do that, you idiot?” “Oh just kiss me already.”)
  • Sensory imagery (My hands got sweaty just sitting next to him.)
  • Internal monologue (What was he thinking? I couldn’t remember being this angry since my father bought an ostrich.) (Use this sparingly, it’s usually most fitting when your character literally can’t talk or is remembering past events.)
  • Metaphors and other imagery (After he dumped me, the thunderstorm embraced me like a coffin.)
  • Other characters’ reactions (As soon as he saw the look on my face, he took me in his arms.)

As you can see, there are a lot more options for you there than just “I was happy” or “he smiled”. Showing is often better than telling, and a good verb is always better than a vague adjective.

An important thing to remember about feelings is that there’s rarely just one happening at a time. Are you just happy, or are you also relieved and hopeful? Are you just sad, or are you disappointed and a little angry? Two conflicting emotions can also happen – you can feel guilty and relieved at the same time. Always consider what else is lingering under the surface, it’ll make your characters more realistic and your writing stronger.

Should you use romance novel tropes?

There’s a lot of good and bad to say about tropes. On their own there’s nothing wrong with them – they’re a tool just like any other. But also, you wouldn’t describe a house by saying “yeah, it’s been built with a hammer”, you know? I mean, what else is there?

Your story is going to need a lot more substance than just a trope or two and your readers definitely need to know more, despite what BookTok may have told you. Using them in an otherwise full story, though? That’s perfectly fine. Almost unavoidable, actually! We’ve been exposed to so many stories in our lives that it would be impossible not to take something from them.

Don’t be lazy when using romance tropes

Whenever you’re using any trope, you need to know what makes it appealing to readers and it also needs to make sense in your story.

In my bonus podcast episode for Valentine’s Day, I talked about a few romance tropes and how to use them organically in your story, and I specifically mentioned the Only One Bed trope. Yes, it could have happened randomly, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if it was directly caused by something your characters did previously that they didn’t realise would end up biting them in the butt?

Or maybe you want to write about “the grumpy one” falling for “the sunshine one” – there needs to be mutual respect and a deeper reason for them wanting to be together despite their superficial differences. Actually, that goes for any “opposites attract” type of pairing.

And when it comes to understanding what makes a trope appealing, you need to understand the dynamics between the characters and how the trope works with the plot. For example, if you were to use the Enemies To Lovers trope, you can’t just have two people be mean to each other and then randomly fall in love, there needs to be a process of learning to see each other differently and becoming better suited for each other.

There also needs to be a proper reason for them to be enemies, something that genuinely will take an entire story to get over. Two characters clashing for no particular reason is, after all, just as unrealistic as two characters immediately being attracted to each other just because they’re different genders.

Familiarity is not a bad thing

Sometimes writers can bend over backwards trying to come up with something unique when it might not even be necessary. Yes, do try to write something fresh and don’t just rely on tired clichés without ever challenging them. But there’s something to be said about just knowing you’re going to enjoy a book because it has something you love about it.

I like reading romance as a palate cleanser – they’re usually easy to read and I like going heeheehee at the characters. Don’t get me wrong, I also like to suffer, but it’s silly that we consider bad things happening as more literary than good things. I think it’s good to have a balanced diet when it comes to stories.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was that when I grab a romance novel, there are things I like to see. College students? No thank you. People in their 30s running little shops? Yes please. You’ll want to have something about your story that makes a reader say “shut up and take my money”.

Moreover, if you want to get traditionally published, knowing your comp titles is important. You need to know what your novel can be compared to because you need to know who would read it. Think of it as connections rather than restrictive formulas, because that’s what it is.

For more help on writing unique stories, you can read this blog post or listen to the podcast.

What are bad romance story clichés?

There’s a difference between tropes and clichés. A trope is like ordering a pizza because you feel like pizza. Cliché is receiving a salami pizza every time you order no matter how you feel about it and knowing that’s exactly what’s going to happen. A trope, when used properly, is effective. A cliché has been used so many times it no longer means anything.

Some clichés are bad simply because they’re so unrealistic and because they reflect very poor understanding of character development. For example, if you had a character who never wanted children, it’s kind of cliché and yucky to reveal in an epilogue that her “happily ever after” included getting pregnant after all. Or maybe you have a really witty and sarcastic character who becomes a boring softie after falling in love. Maybe you should have just started with a different kind of character if that’s where you wanted to go.

Or when it comes to writing sex (Skip this paragraph if you don’t want to read about it!) it’s such a cliché and very annoying that a female character magically reaches climax after just a couple of pumps just because she’s with the right person now. Yawn. If you can’t write a proper bedroom scene, just leave it out.

Some clichés are expressions that have been used so many times that they don’t really mean anything anymore and that make you question if the writer has any independent thoughts. That sounded kinda mean, but really. Having curves in all the right places? Pearly white teeth? Were her tears really like rain?

The thing to remember about clichés is that nobody actually likes them, at least not anymore. Nobody grabs a book thinking “I sure hope this millionaire falls in love with the barista for absolutely no discernible reason because the writer was too incompetent to write a proper story”. Give some real thought to what you want to say and how you want to say it, and again, don’t be lazy.

Writing about intimacy in your romance novel

If you don’t want to read about and write about sex, feel free to skip this whole section. It’s not very graphic by any means but it’s pretty clear on what we’re talking about. No hard (heh) feelings.

We already touched the subject of sex earlier but I wanted to talk more about how to write it well. I seem to have a lot more to say about it than I thought so let me know if you’d just like me to write an entire blog post about it.

What’s your spice level?

There’s a scale of writing about intimacy that goes from “there’s no mention of sex and there’s no kissing because the characters aren’t married (yet) or because they’re too young” to “multiple sex scenes with lots of detail and a big overall emphasis on sexual relations”. You can also imply that the characters have sex while not actually including those scenes – that’s also fine.

It depends on your chosen subgenre and your ideal reader how much detail you want to include. I like reading sex scenes but I don’t really need to hear about bodily fluids, for example, and it’s also fine that you follow your own comfort levels when writing your story. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone and you’ll find the right audience for your book.

How to write sex scenes in your romance novel

Something that writers sometimes ignore is that people don’t necessarily want or need to read about the mechanics of sex – the feelings are a lot more important. We all know how the P goes into V and don’t necessarily need to hear about every thrust, but what are the characters saying? Where are their hands going? That’s a lot more interesting and appealing – you’re not writing the instructions for building an IKEA shelf. What we talked about character feelings also applies here.

You’re also going to want to include all five senses here and that’s going to help the writing be less mechanical as well. In regular scenes, taste is often not included, but this is definitely different. What do the characters taste, see, hear, smell and feel? Include it all. It’s okay if there’s almost too much sensory descriptions in your first draft because it’s easy to pare it down.

I think most people are sick of reading unrealistic Hollywood movie style sex scenes where everything is neat and both characters magically climax at the same time after barely any effort. We’re ready for more realism, okay? Don’t be afraid. If you’re writing about some kind of sex you don’t have experience of, you’re better off asking someone on Tumblr or Reddit than taking advice from adult films.

Don’t forget what real people are like

You already know what your characters are like and you know they continue being the same way even when they get naked. You do know that, don’t you? So don’t have them act completely differently unless they have some reason for doing that! I once read a novel written by an adult movie star and it was really funny (in a bad way) how the main character was supposedly a regular young woman but then she started talking like a porn star as soon as the clothes came off.

Of course, an otherwise shy character could feel liberated by having sex or a normally confident character could feel self-conscious about their naked body, but you’d want to point out these differences somehow, and your characters would still talk like their normally do, just about a different subject. If someone only speaks in short, blunt sentences, they probably won’t become incredibly eloquent with their pants around their ankles. (The opposite might actually happen, though! Just have your other character react to it.)

When you’re describing your characters’ bodies, please remember what they might actually look like. Your historical fiction character probably wouldn’t be completely clean shaven down there, and if they were, other characters would definitely notice and think it’s unusual. And don’t even get me started on a woman’s flat stomach and defined abs being shorthand of goodness and desirability instead of a product of diet, exercise and genes. Does your character even go to the gym? Do they do hard labour?

Use real words

Okay, fine, use words that you’re comfortable with and that fit the era of your story, but perhaps re-think the whole “writing a sex scene” thing if even the idea of calling genitals by their names is a little too much. Don’t cock-block your readers by talking about manly cucumbers and lady gardens.

But again, remember what your characters are like. Perhaps they would say something like “Give it to me” rather than “Give me your big fat c-ck, daddy”. (I’m self-censoring here to weed out the weirdest google searches.) Even then, using out-of-place euphemism will take your readers out of your story rather than keep them in and you don’t want them wondering what the hell is going on and where, exactly, is he putting it.

How to name your romance novel

Titling your novel isn’t always easy, but the good news is that you don’t need a title before you’ve written your novel. Don’t let it be the step you get stuck on.

After you’ve written your novel, it’s a lot easier to pull inspiration from it for the title. You could pick one thing from the story and either use it literally or describe it more abstractly. (Think: “Queen Elizabeth” vs “The Last Liz”.)

Here are things that you can take from your story to use in the title, with examples I pulled from Goodreads:

*Apparently this book is also called The Bookshop on the Corner and I feel like Jenny Colgan’s books constantly change names – I don’t know what’s up with that but I don’t think I’d recommend doing that.

You can find more tips for titling your novel from this blog post.

Should you consider diversity when writing your romance novel?

If you’re white, able-bodied and neurotypical, straight and cis-gender, there’s a good chance you’ve been writing about people who are just like you and haven’t given it much thought. I’m not going to tell you what to write, but at the same time, I want to remind you that there are other options out there.

Sure, tread carefully when you’re on unknown ground, and don’t make your story ABOUT experiences that you don’t understand. Of course you can and should have POC characters in your books even if you yourself are white, but perhaps don’t write about racism. Actually, whatever minorities you might include in your story, your mind doesn’t need to immediately jump to the hardships they may or may not be having – they could just live their lives just like everyone. When you ARE writing about your own personal experiences, feel free to do it exactly the way that feels true to you.

It’s so annoying how some people go on about woke agenda or whatever when we talk about diversity, but seriously, have you ever been outside? Do you know more than five people? I think it’s extremely weird to have only one subset of people represented in fiction when reality is completely different. The real world simply is diverse, whether you like it or not.

Including different life experiences in your story

Depending on how you spend your time, it can be easy to forget how differently people live on this earth. Some people live in comfortable houses and some live in cramped apartments, some never do well in school because they have undiagnosed dyslexia and some breeze through their studies completely unaware of all the support they’ve been given.

We don’t just live differently, we also want different things. I don’t know if I could afford a fancy holiday but I also don’t want one. Many people don’t want to get married or have children even if they want a relationship.

So think about what kinds of lives your characters are living and what experiences they’ve had – could you go for something that’s a little more unexpected or less used? And could your characters have different goals than just the dingdong of wedding bells and a Mercedes in the driveway?

Writing LGBTQ+ romance

I think it’s fabulous that we can now have more sexual orientations and gender identities represented in books without it being something salacious that needs to be hidden under the table. At the same time, if you’re not writing about your own experiences, make sure you’re conscious of where you’re getting your ideas from.

I watched L Word as a teenager, too, but I don’t think it counts as very good research if you want to write a lesbian romance novel. Why not watch a lesbian youtuber instead, like Jessica Kellgren-Fozard? And don’t just assume that every gay man is catty and obsessed with fashion like they’re characters in Sex And The City, and definitely don’t take inspiration for your sex scenes from pornography.

If you’re unsure of what you’re doing, don’t be afraid to ask for feedback and advice from someone who knows more. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve advised my lesbian best friend on how to write about penises for her Wolfstar fanfics, although some of that advice may have been unsolicited. The point is, find yourself some friends, or at the very least a sensitivity reader.

Romance novel writing prompts and plot ideas

All these writing prompts are from different writing prompt collections you can find in my shop. You can use them separately but you can also mix and match them to include more in one story.

  • Maybe life wasn’t all sparkles and unicorns for her but she was determined not to let anyone find out.
  • A graveyard was the last place I expected to meet someone who’d make my heart flutter and wasn’t a ghost.
  • Write about a retired accountant who’s desperate to find a romantic partner for his daughter who’s more interested in running a cat shelter.
  • “I don’t care if he’s a doctor, mum. I need a partner who’s home when I need him.”
  • “She called me ma’am, I don’t think she realised I was flirting with her.”
  • I had expected falling in love to feel like falling but actually it was more like floating in warm water.
  • They both want the same dog from the shelter and somehow they end up sharing custody of the pooch.
  • “What are you thinking about?” “What our future children will look like?”
  • “Against the wall, on the kitchen counter, anywhere you can imagine.”
  • Write a steamy scene using only dialogue.
  • Being in love was the worst, the most violent magic I had ever witnessed.
  • A woman who grew up in an orphanage can’t stop thinking about the mysterious creature who saved her from a fire when she was just a teenager.

More help with writing your romance novel

Fellas, it took me two days to write this post and I could have probably said even more than I did.

I’ve already sprinkled in my tools and resources in this post, but if you want to see everything in one place, check out the Writing A Romance Novel section in my Etsy shop. I’ve got your back – completely platonically.

Protagonist Crafts is a blog about writing fiction, written by a published author and creative writing teacher. You can find more writing tips and inspiration in the blog and you can get the best author tools at Writer Lifestyle on Etsy.

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