I’m sure you’ve been there before: You read your writing… and you cringe. You want to hide. You consider quitting writing completely. Stop right there! I’m here to fix that problem for you.
So if you’ve ever cringed at your own writing and would like to stop doing that, you’ll want to keep reading.
Related reading: How to edit your novel – Signs you’re not ready to write a novel (yet) – YouTube video: How to stop cringing at your writing
What happens when you cringe at your writing
Let’s think about this a little. You read your own writing and you go YIKES – what has actually happened there? Was it nothing else but an emotional reaction? Maybe you even flinched, but the world didn’t actually end.
I would say there are two possible reasons for cringing. The first one is that you have certain expectations and standards for your writing, but you didn’t meet them. The other reason could be that you revealed a little too much of yourself in your writing and now you’re having second thoughts. Being sarcastic and distant is cool, and being earnest is cringe, apparently.
I suppose there could also be a third reason: maybe you tried to write like someone you’re not, and now you’re seeing the error of your ways, which might happen if you tried too hard to avoid the other two reasons.
So you’ve written something and you’ve cringed so hard you crunged. Then what happens? That is more important than the icky feeling. You can’t let feeling cringy be the end of your writing journey.
Let’s reframe this: Cringing is not a problem
So, hey, you might not want to hear this, but what if cringing at your writing wasn’t a problem? What if you didn’t need to fix it?
Because you know what, cringing is just a feeling. If you’ve ever had a full-blown anxiety attack while acting like a normal person doing their chores and activities, you know that the outside world is not necessarily connected to your inner world. In the same vein, the feeling of cringe is just a feeling in your body. What’s the big deal?
I get it, you also live inside your body. But the thing is, you go through countless thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Most of them don’t mean anything. They just go WOOSH and then they’re gone, if you let them.
Cringing doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. Cringing doesn’t mean you suck. It’s just a feeling as a result of your writing not matching what you wanted, and you don’t need to put any kind of meaning to it. The sooner you stop making it a big deal, the sooner the feeling goes away. The only real way to fix the cringe is to stop fixating on it.
You also don’t need to be delusional
My writing doesn’t make me cringe. Is it because it’s perfect? Because I’m the best writer in the world?? Actually, my first drafts are a mess, but it’s something I’ve completely accepted. Actually, it’s normal. I don’t try to avoid the mess and the dreadful sentences and unfortunate word choices.
When you understand that “bad writing” is a normal stage of the writing process and that it’s something that can eventually be fixed, you stop seeing it as a problem. You can find a million thing in a single paragraph and still approach it pragmatically instead of being dramatic and beating yourself up about it.
You don’t need to be perfect to stop cringing. You just need to accept your own humanness and the nature of the creative process. And that choice is available to everyone.
Feelings are not truth
Feelings are important information but they’re not the objective truth. Just because you feel hurt, it doesn’t mean someone has tried to hurt you. Just because you’re scared, it doesn’t mean you’re in actual danger.
Cringing at your own writing is not any different. You might think it means that your writing is terrible or that you’re a terrible writer, but those are meanings that YOU assigned to it. You don’t need to take any of it as gospel truth.
The next time you’re cringing at your own writing or anything else that you created, you can simply choose to say “Wow, that’s a big feeling” to yourself and then move on with your day. Feelings will always come and go, and many of them are affected by what you think and believe about yourself and about the world. They can even change depending on what else has happened that day. Can you really trust something as fickle as that?
Cringing is just step one
We already talked about the reasons you’re cringing, but now’s the time to do something about those reasons.
Maybe you feel like your writing is bad. What, specifically, is bad about it? Is the dialogue too on-the-nose? Are your word choices too pretentious or simplistic? Before you can fix it, you need to know what to fix.
Or is the reason for your cringing that your writing, all of a sudden, feels too raw and personal? It can be good to check your writing for melodrama and, again, on-the-noseness, but being genuine and earnest are not sins. Just move on to editing your writing as normal instead of trying to hide yourself. Readers don’t connect to cool and clinical.
Learn to edit your writing
When you see cringing as “step one”, you obviously need to know what the next steps are. That’s where rewriting, revising and editing come in.
If it’s a novel or an otherwise longer story with a plot that you’ve written, you need to start from fixing your plot. You always want to start from bigger changes and move on to smaller. It’s also important to approach editing in an organised manner, because otherwise it’s too easy to get overwhelmed and you might end up treading water, fixing whatever you happen to notice at a time.
Editing is a big subject, so I won’t get into it here more in depth, but you can go ahead and read this post about editing your novel without losing your will to live.
What’s the deal with “on the nose” writing?
I already mentioned this twice because I feel like it might be the source of some of your cringeworthy writing. When characters are a little too direct and honest with what they’re saying and thinking, it can come off as unrealistic, silly, and yes, a little cringy.
“I will never hurt you again, I promise, I was only lashing out because of my childhood trauma,” he said, and meant it.
Yikes. And what, exactly, is wrong with that? The problem is that people, generally speaking, are not that self-aware and they definitely don’t make a habit of talking about their flaws and misgivings out loud. When they do, they become uninteresting characters with zero tension on the page.
Subtext, dramatic irony and tension are what make stories interesting, not characters who have been through extensive psychotherapy and who talk like they have. Yes, characters will get multiple revelations over the course of the story, but they need to earn them.
Improve your writing skills
Although your writing will never be perfect and you can’t reach the ultimate writing skill level in a lifetime, learning more about writing will still help your writing feel less cringy. You’ll start to produce slightly better first drafts, and editing becomes easier when you know what you’re doing.
Naturally, writing and reading are integral to becoming a better writer, but you also need to learn about the craft of writing. That’s because “being a good writer” is actually a few dozen different skills wearing the same trench coat. Reading books about writing or reading writing tips is helpful, but you also need to apply what you learn to your writing.
It’s great if you have existing writing that you can edit with your newfound knowledge, but I’d still recommend doing writing exercises. If you’d like every writing exercise from my blog in a single Google Docs file, just fill in the form below and I’ll send them to you.
Cringing when other people read your work
Maybe by now you’re okay about reading your own writing. You’ve got this. But… what about when other people read it? Does it make you want to burst into flames?
I almost feel bad for saying this because it’s probably another thing you don’t want to hear, but having other people read your writing actually gets easier over time. When you let yourself feel something scary that isn’t actually dangerous, it won’t feel quite as intense the next time. Pinky promise.
Start from the easiest possible step. Would it be easier to share your writing with a total stranger or with someone you know and trust? Heck, you could even send your writing to me. Although giving thorough feedback is something I actually charge people for, I still frequently read work that people send to me and give them some general thoughts and suggestions for free. It’s my pleasure. (All I ask is that you’re subscribed to my emails so we’re not total strangers.)
Feedback is not dangerous
Other people’s opinions about your writing don’t actually wound you. If you’ve shared your writing with someone who has no reason to hurt you, then it’s a very reasonable assumption that whatever they say is meant to help you. Yes, even if it might sting at first. Accept this rather than fight against it and you’ll have an overall easier time with it.
If you’re used to getting unjustified criticism or you’ve lived with emotionally abusive partners or family members, I know that getting any kind of critique can feel like actual danger. That’s your nervous system trying to protect you, and although it has good intentions, it’s completely needless. You are not in danger.
“But what if they hate my writing?”
Yeah, what if they do? What’s going to happen? No, really, what?
If you want to be a published author, you might as well prepare yourself to get one-star reviews and haters. Not because you suck or because I want you to be pessimistic, but because it’s a normal part of creation. Someone is going to think you’re a dumbass. It’s okay. You shouldn’t let it stop you.
Don’t write to please people who dislike you. Write for the people who need to hear your stories. Focusing on that is going to be a lot more helpful than being scared.
I hope this post has helped you deal with cringing at your own writing, and if you’d like to upgrade your writing skills, don’t forget to get the free writing exercises.
Protagonist Crafts is a blog about writing fiction, written by a published author and creative writing teacher. You can find more writing tips and inspiration in the blog and you can get the best author tools at Writer Lifestyle on Etsy.
